How to enjoy and connect sexually with a soft penis
Beyond Erections
A positive approach to erectile differences
My erections faded and became unreliable after prostate cancer surgery in 2020. Over the next five years I’ve explored a wide range of solo pleasure options, and together with my wife discovered a huge array of partnered soft cock sexual pleasure and true love making beyond erections. I’ve also listened to over 200 men and couples share their intimate experiences across different countries, cultures, genders and sexual orientations.
This book puts together what we have learned about sex beyond erections. The language is simple, direct and down to earth. There are earthy quotes from lots of different people about their sexual experiences with erectile differences. And it includes detailed illustrated guides to an extensive range of solo and partnered pleasures for all genders and sexual orientations. Each chapter also offers lively guides for your further exploration and creativity. The book is supported by a lively Readers Portal with links to suit different tastes and locations.
Away with shame
Silence and taboos make the issue worse. The book helps us bring erectile differences out of shameful secrecy, and liberate full body sexual creativity.
Not a quick fix
If glib promises about “fixing this dick” have let you down, this book gives practical ways to sexual pleasure and intimacy with your body just as it is now.
Full body pleasure
There is a treasure trove of pleasure awaiting those who use their whole bodies to make love. Enjoy the illustrated guide to find new satisfaction.
eBook options: Kindle and Kobo
- Read in privacy on your phone!
- Instantly available for download
- Excellent free reader app works on any device
- Phone
- Tablet
- Laptop
- Compatible with either Kindle or Kobo e-Readers
- Optimised to include same illustrations as paperback
Paperback option
- Delivered to your doorstep in days, wherever Amazon delivers
- Also available from select booksellers in Canada and Australia
- The tactile experience of a real quality paper book
- Crisp, clear, spacious and easy to read
- Includes access to online Readers Portal with clickable links for all references, downloads and interactive options referred to in the book.
Recommended by health care professionals
Marvellous and long overdue! I am honored to endorse Beyond Erections. I think it should be required reading for everyone who is diagnosed with prostate cancer.
Dr Lorraine Becker (MD), Family Doctor, Fellow of European Committee of Sexual Medicine
This book is a key read for any man finding erections difficult or even impossible. In addition, I would highly recommend Beyond Erections to any person that supports patients with their sexual function, not only to gain an insight into the struggles people face but also so that they can learn how to support them along their new journey.
Stuart Dawe-Long (FIBMS, MSc), Senior Clinical Andrologist (Registered Clinical Scientist)
Endorsed by sex educators
If you have a soft cock in your life, this book is a great resource and will certainly guide you to a deeper, more robust relationship with your body. I highly recommend reading it.
Cam Fraser, Men’s Sex Coach
A profoundly impactful and refreshing exploration of sexual intimacy, challenging the conventional norms that often marginalize those experiencing erectile differences. Mish empowers readers to explore alternative forms of intimate pleasure. His practical tips and inclusive perspective make him a true sexual pleasure warrior.
Delene van Dyk, Professional Registered Nurse, Psychosexual Educator and Counsellor
Appreciated by men with erectile differences
Well illustrated and easy to understand advice, suggestions, and practices make the journey through this book both pleasurable and comforting. Having a guide like this, Beyond Erections will open the door to your sexual rejuvenation.
Steve Jones, Author- Words woke me- my prostate cancer journey in poetry
The book feels like a supportive chat with someone who genuinely gets it. It’s encouraging, non-judgmental, and totally normalises what can feel like an awkward topic. An honest, empowering, and inclusive guide for anyone navigating erectile differences. This book is a must-read for men and their partners seeking to redefine intimacy and embrace new possibilities for connection and pleasure.
Martin Wells, community activist, educator and co-founder of Out with Prostate Cancer
Why I wrote this book
About half of all men over 50 experience some form of erectile dysfunction. More and more young adult men are reporting problems with erectile function. Prostate cancer is among the top three forms of cancer worldwide, and most men treated for prostate cancer have problems with erectile function for months, years or forever after treatment.
Both penis owners and the medical system tend to place overwhelming focus on “fix this dick.” The medical model is all about restoration and cure. Most men, including this author, start off simply wanting to get their erections to be hard and reliable again.
This is a book about expanding sensuality and sexual pleasure without relying on hard erections. It’s about awakening loving connection with self and partner. It’s specially for those with penises that don’t easily get fully hard or stay soft all the time, and their partners. It’s also definitely for those whose sexual pleasures are mostly or all solo. And it might be relevant to people who do have hard erections.
Note that this website and the book are not substitutes for professional medical advice. If you or your loved ones are experiencing changes in erectile function, they could need medical help and the person concerned should see a doctor. Take you partner with you – erectile differences affect both partners.
Why this book matters
Almost half of all men over 50 experience some form of erectile differences and disappointments. Reasons include medications, age, prostate cancer treatment, depression, diabetes and many other causes. The mainstream shames men with these conditions, and leaves tens of millions of men yearning for a quick fix.
Every bit of medical help you can get is welcome, and in the meantime this book offers you ways to enjoy your life without hard erections.
How this book works
It’s short, direct and down to earth. The language is simple and practical. Mish addresses mental, physical and energetic aspects of achieving sexual pleasure, connection and satisfaction both solo and with a partner, without reliable erections.
About the author
The author has had a robust and enjoyable sex life for more than fifty years, the last five of which have been mostly with a soft cock. Mish Middelmann writes from closely observed personal experience and with the active support of his wife of 43 years. The book has been shaped by Mish’s candid, in-depth conversations with over 200 men and their partners over the course of five years, within and beyond the community that has grown around his Recovering Man website and global support group. To enable these difficult conversations he draws on 18 years of experience as an internationally certified leadership and relationship systems coach.