Resource Guide

This guide is intended to provide easy access to helpful resources for readers of the book Soft Cock Sex. They are organised according to the following sections of Chapter 7 of the book:

The lists that follow include my personal suggestions based on experience. Feel free to search further online to suit your own preferences. Nothing in this book should be taken as medical advice – rather see a doctor.

Items marked with this icon were added after original publication of the book. Month and year added are noted, e.g. April 2025

Free online resources

This is a brief list to get you started – I trust you will find more options that suit you.

Online resources you might consider paying for

This short selection is limited to paid services I can personally recommend.

Sex aids

There is an unlimited array of toys, devices and other sex aids on the market. Here are a selection of more personal stories and reviews to help you get started.

Support groups with free membership

I encourage you to find a group to join in your home area. If that doesn’t work out, here are some that are accessible internationally.

Professional helpers

It’s best to find the professional helper that suits you, if possible in your own area. Here are some individuals I can personally recommend:

More about quotes in the book

Quotes in the book come from a variety of individuals, some of whom prefer to remain anonymous. Where their stories are published, I have included links below.

Bibliography

Books

Anand, M. The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Sexuality for Western Lovers (1989)

Andrews, N. The Book of Orgasms (2000) Added Jan 2025

Bellweather, M. Fucking Trans Women (2010) Listed Oct 2025

Chia, M. & Abrams, D. The Multi-Orgasmic Man (1996)

Chia, M., Abrams, D. & Abrams, R. C. The Multi-Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know (2000)

Dahl R. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (1965)

Devèze, T. A better normal: your guide to rediscovering intimacy after cancer (2021)

Frank, A. The Wounded Storyteller (2nd edition, 2013)

Kleinplatz, P., & Ménard, A. Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers (2020). Listed Feb 2026

Masters, W., Johnson, V., & Kolodny, R. Heterosexuality (1994)

Nagoski, E. Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life (2015)

Nagoski, E. Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections (2024)

Perel, E. Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence (2007)

Research based articles

Bowie, J., Brunckhorst, O., Stewart, R., Dasgupta, P., & Ahmed, K. (2022). Body image, self-esteem, and sense of masculinity in patients with prostate cancer: a qualitative meta-synthesis. Journal of cancer survivorship : research and practice, 16(1), 95–110.

Chambers, S. K., Chung, E., Wittert, G., & Hyde, M. K. (2017). Erectile dysfunction, masculinity, and psychosocial outcomes: a review of the experiences of men after prostate cancer treatment. Translational andrology and urology, 6(1), 60–68.

Daskivich, T. J., Naser-Tavakolian, A., Gale, R., Luu, M., Friedrich, N., Venkataramana, A., Khodyakov, D., Posadas, E., Sandler, H., Spiegel, B., & Freedland, S. J. (2024). Variation in communication of side effects in prostate cancer treatment consultations. Prostate cancer and prostatic diseases, 10.1038/s41391-024-00806-2. Advance online publication.

Dowsett, G. W., Lyons, A., Duncan, D., & Wassersug, R. J. (2014). Flexibility in Men’s Sexual Practices in Response to Iatrogenic Erectile Dysfunction after Prostate Cancer Treatment. Sexual medicine, 2(3), 115–120.

Frey, A., Pedersen, C., Lindberg, H., Bisbjerg, R., Sønksen, J., & Fode, M. (2017). Prevalence and Predicting Factors for Commonly Neglected Sexual Side Effects to External-Beam Radiation Therapy for Prostate Cancer. The journal of sexual medicine, 14(4), 558–565.

Frey, A., Sønksen, J., Jakobsen, H., & Fode, M. (2014). Prevalence and predicting factors for commonly neglected sexual side effects to radical prostatectomies: results from a cross-sectional questionnaire-based study. The journal of sexual medicine, 11(9), 2318–2326.

Fu, F., Duthie, C. J., Wibowo, E., Wassersug, R. J., & Walker, L. M. (2022). Openness to Using an External Penile Prosthesis for Maintaining Sexual Intimacy by Individuals with Erectile Dysfunction: A Cross-Sectional Study. Sexual medicine, 10(5), 100559.

Hanna, P., Corre, C., Rapsey, C. & Wibowo, E. (2025). Description of how men achieve multiple orgasms, Sexual and Relationship Therapy. Added Jan 2025

Kessler, A., Sollie, S., Challacombe, B., Briggs, K., & Van Hemelrijck, M. (2019). The global prevalence of erectile dysfunction: a review. BJU international, 124(4), 587–599.

Kinnaird, W., Schartau, P., Kirby, M., Jenkins, V., Allen, S., Payne, H. (2025). Sexual Dysfunction in Prostate Cancer Patients According to Disease Stage and Treatment Modality. Journal of Clinical Oncology, Volume 41, 2025, 103801.Added April 2025

Komisaruk, B. R., & Whipple, B. (2011). Non-genital orgasms. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 26(4), 356–372.

Ladegaard, P. B. J., Mortensen, J., Skov-Jeppesen, S. M., & Lund, L. (2021). Erectile Dysfunction A Prospective Randomized Placebo-Controlled Study Evaluating the Effect of Low-Intensity Extracorporeal Shockwave Therapy (LI-ESWT) in Men With Erectile Dysfunction Following Radical Prostatectomy. Sexual medicine, 9(3), 100338.

Lyons, K. S., Winters-Stone, K. M., Bennett, J. A., & Beer, T. M. (2016). The effects of partnered exercise on physical intimacy in couples coping with prostate cancer. Health psychology: official journal of the Division of Health Psychology, American Psychological Association, 35(5), 509–513.

McKinlay J. B. (2000). The worldwide prevalence and epidemiology of erectile dysfunction. International journal of impotence research, 12 Suppl 4, S6–S11.

Meissner, V. H., Dumler, S., Kron, M., Schiele, S., Goethe, V. E., Bannowsky, A., Gschwend, J. E., & Herkommer, K. (2020). Association between masturbation and functional outcome in the postoperative course after nerve-sparing radical prostatectomy. Translational andrology and urology, 9(3), 1286–1295.

Ralph S. (2021). Developing UK Guidance on How Long Men Should Abstain from Receiving Anal Sex before, During and after Interventions for Prostate Cancer. Clinical oncology (Royal College of Radiologists (Great Britain)), 33(12), 807–810.

Rawla P. (2019). Epidemiology of Prostate Cancer. World journal of oncology, 10(2), 63–89.

Schover, L.R., Fouladi, R.T., Warneke, C.L., Neesec L., Klein, E.A., Zippe, C., Kupelian, P.A., Defining sexual outcomes after treatment for localized prostate carcinoma. Cancer. 2002 Oct 15;95(8):1773–1785.Added April 2025

Schwartz, A. N., Wang, K. Y., Mack, L. A., Lowe, M., Berger, R. E., Cyr, D. R., & Feldman, M. (1989). Evaluation of normal erectile function with color flow Doppler sonography. AJR. American journal of roentgenology, 153(6), 1155–1160.

Tsang, V. W. L., Skead, C., Wassersug, R. J., & Palmer-Hague, J. L. (2019). Impact of prostate cancer treatments on men’s understanding of their masculinity. Psychology of Men & Masculinities, 20(2), 214–225.

Tutolo, M., Briganti, A., Suardi, N., Gallina, A., Abdollah, F., Capitanio, U., Bianchi, M., Passoni, N., Nini, A., Fossati, N., Rigatti, P., & Montorsi, F. (2012). Optimizing postoperative sexual function after radical prostatectomy. Therapeutic advances in urology, 4(6), 347–365.

Ussher, J. M., Perz, J., Rose, D., Dowsett, G. W., Chambers, S., Williams, S., Davis, I., & Latini, D. (2017). Threat of Sexual Disqualification: The Consequences of Erectile Dysfunction and Other Sexual Changes for Gay and Bisexual Men With Prostate Cancer. Archives of sexual behavior, 46(7), 2043–2057.

Usta, M.F., Gabrielson, A.T. & Bivalacqua, T.J. Low-intensity extracorporeal shockwave therapy in the treatment of erectile dysfunction following radical prostatectomy: a critical review. (2019). Int J Impot Res 31, 231–238.

Walker, L. M., & Robinson, J. W. (2012). Sexual adjustment to androgen deprivation therapy: struggles and strategies. Qualitative health research, 22(4), 452–465.

Warkentin KM, Gray RE, Wassersug RJ. Restoration of satisfying sex for a castrated cancer patient with complete impotence: a case study. J Sex Marital Ther. 2006 Oct-Dec;32(5):389-99. Added May 2025

Wassersug R. J. (2016). Maintaining intimacy for prostate cancer patients on androgen deprivation therapy. Current opinion in supportive and palliative care, 10(1), 55–65.

Wassersug, R. J. (2014). Prostate cancer, gonadal hormones, and my brain. Journal of sex & marital therapy, 40(5), 355–357.

Wassersug, R., & Wibowo, E. (2017). Non-pharmacological and non-surgical strategies to promote sexual recovery for men with erectile dysfunction. Translational andrology and urology, 6(Suppl 5), S776–S794.

Wibowo, E., & Wassersug, R. J. (2016). Multiple Orgasms in Men—What We Know So Far. Sexual Medicine Reviews. 4(2), 136-148.

Wittmann, D., Foley, S., & Balon, R. (2011). A biopsychosocial approach to sexual recovery after prostate cancer surgery: the role of grief and mourning. Journal of sex & marital therapy, 37(2), 130–144.

Yates, P., Carter, R., Cockerell, R., Cowan, D., Dixon, C., Magnus, A., Newton, R. U., Hart, N. H., Galvão, D. A., Baguley, B., Denniston, N., Skinner, T., Couper, J., Emery, J., Frydenberg, M., & Liu, W. H. (2021). An integrated multicomponent care model for men affected by prostate cancer: A feasibility study of TrueNTH Australia. Psycho-oncology, 30(9), 1544–1554.

Other articles

Cooper, S. Taboos in Treating Men’s Sexual, Erectile, and Mental Health. Psychology Today, Nov 19, 2024.

Fisher, J. 5 stages of grief: Coping with the loss of a loved one. Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School, Dec 12, 2023.

Goldstein, I. The Central Mechanisms of Sexual Function. Boston University Medical Centre, 2021.

Kenny, S. In Chicago, a New Approach to Gay and Bisexual Men With Prostate Cancer. New York Times, Dec 7, 2021.

Kramer, J. The Body Electric School (1984)

Lanquist, L and Borges, A. How to prepare for anal sex, according to actual doctors (2020) Added Jan 2025

McCarthy B.W. Responsive Sexual Desire and Good Enough Sex: The keys to male sexuality and aging (Psychology Today, June 5, 2023) Added Feb 2026

Middelmann, M. Let’s Talk About Erectile Dysfunction: How my prostate cancer experience is helping make ED more discussable for me. Psychology Today, May 3, 2021 Added Jan 2025

Middelmann, M. (2024). Assumptions and Taboos: Breaking down barriers to men’s sexual health and relationships. Institute of Psychosexual Medicine Journal, 83, 10-15.

Sexual Medicine Society of North America, What Is Sensate Focus and How Does It Work?