My book was summarily ditched by Amazon ten days ago. It was only thanks to three trusty bricks-and-mortar booksellers, each with online portals, that it remained available from April 2nd until now. Here’s the story of what it has taken to get global supplies flowing freely again. The story points to some of the many lessons to be learned about discussing socially awkward and undiscussable topics.

The book is a respectful and practical work of adult sex exploration and education. It brings a sex-positive approach to the erectile differences that affect half of all men over 50 and their partners. It’s also designed to be relevant to people who don’t fit simplistic gender assignments, and a lot of younger men and their partners. But it got blocked by Amazon at the beginning of April for being offensive.  I don’t know whether this was the result of a complaint or a change in their automated algorithms. They also permanently deleted all the reader reviews posted on Amazon.

It has taken a bit of work to get it back online. Before you say “ditch Amazon” you should take into account the remarkable service they offer small publishers like me. They put my book in the hands of readers worldwide within 5 days of me uploading the manuscript. They pay authors like me remarkably generous royalties on the books they sell. And I appreciate their very easy-to-use technology.

So I have done what it takes to get my book back on Amazon.

Adding a fig leaf and changing book title

It appears that the (human or robotic) content reviewers didn’t like the small, partly-obscured and artistically stylised image of a flaccid penis included in the cover art. You can zoom into the image at the top of this post. Was it offensive to you? Back in January both content and cover were thoroughly reviewed and accepted, and in March it was all re-checked and accepted again by Amazon KDP. But in April my book was summarily blocked. Reasons were not given clearly, so I have taken four steps to get the book back up and available to readers:

1. Added a digital “fig leaf” to cover anything that looks remotely like genitals on the cover. I hope you still like the cover. It was and still is marked as mature content to ensure that retailers don’t market it to minors.
2. Changed the book title from Soft Cock Sex to Beyond Erections. I like the new title as much as the old one, but I do miss the sassiness of the original title. What’s your view? It seems that a lot of automated blockers pick up on key words with sexual meaning. The original title seemed to trigger those blockers.
3. Changed my body text inside the book to refer to the male sex organ by the medical term “penis” instead of the colloquial “cock.” Again, it’s a puzzle. Lots of books sold online include all kinds of very explicit sexual language, including bestsellers. But remember, we’re trying to discuss the undiscussable so we’re likely to be held to more restrictive standards.
4. Added new buying options and supply chains. This is probably the most significant change given the current era. As of the time of writing, you can buy the book in all these different ways: It’s on Amazon worldwide. Several bricks-and-mortar independent retailers stock the book. Each one also has an online shop. And the eBook is now available in both the Amazon Kindle format and the Rakuten Kobo format. The latter is a Canadian-Japanese platform. These options might help with access from different sides of the current trade barriers.

When genitals can and can’t be shown

It’s a modern puzzle. In many parts of the world adults can easily and legally view extremely explicit sexual video, photographs and text. Several 2025 Oscar-winning movies include graphic sexual imagery and content. But there are other times that it seems a more prudish standard is applied.

In the case of my book I presume that AI was able to discern the outline of a soft penis and that was enough to set a red flag.  Many of the thousands of sexually-themed books displayed on Amazon’s website have far more erotically charged cover imagery than mine. However they have cracked the code. It seems that the merest hint of a thong amongst acres of naked flesh allows them to pass a cover image as “not nudity.”

As a man I disagree with the common convention that allows far more female nudity in public places and platforms than male nudity. This feels unfair. It looks to me like prioritising the sexual preferences of heterosexual men, and then making everybody else’s sexual interests somehow immoral.

Go figure. I designed the original cover art and title as a way of clearly signaling the content of the book. I think clear signaling is important from the outside. It should enable those who don’t want sexual content to navigate away without seeing anything more than you can see on Michaelangelo’s David sculpture, or words you might read in a bestselling novel prominently displayed on your main street.

I’ve also added an age warning to this website clearly indicating that it is designed for adults only.

The words we use

While many loved the forthrightness of my original title Soft Cock Sex, some real people found my original title offensive. It’s because of them that I was willing to change the title. My intention was and still is to make the undiscussable (people with penises being sexual without erections) to be more discussable. I chose colloquial language in an attempt to make it more accessible. But for some, it seems the word “cock” is associated with bad experiences and adding the word “soft” was not enough to soften the impact.

My new title feels more aspirational and less genital focused. That’s in keeping with the content of the book. It is genuinely about sexual pleasure and intimacy that doesn’t depend on, and goes beyond, what can be done with erections. What’s not negotiable in the book’s content is that it’s designed for anybody with a penis and their partner(s) regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.

Reaching global markets during trade wars

The power of global tech giants is palpable, and their global reach is currently being challenged from many quarters. As mentioned above, there are many benefits for small publishers to hitch their wagons to Amazon’s global train. However my experience shows how an “all eggs in one basket” can be a problem.

I’m happy that I now have suppliers that span a bigger range of countries, book versions and technologies. You can buy the paperback and eBook from Amazon almost anywhere. Likewise, you can buy the Kobo eBook from almost anywhere. I am looking to expand my local bricks-and-mortar suppliers around the world where possible, without myself going into business as a book distributor.

How do you read a book about an embarrassing topic?

In designing the book, reader privacy was a crucial requirement for me. I wanted people grappling with shame around erectile differences and the relationship problems that come with them, to be able to read my book without being watched or shamed.

This is a big benefit of the eBook options. You can download the Kindle or Kobo app for your phone, tablet or laptop for free. Then you can buy the eBook for a low price. And you can read it on your phone or other device without anybody knowing.

Erectile differences: discussing the undiscussable

By unshaming erectile differences we’re attempting to discuss the undiscussable. I’ve spoken to a lot of penis owners who don’t fit the hard cock stereotype. The majority say “I’m embarrassed to admit I don’t get fully hard.” But it happens to many people with penises. For some it’s caused by chronic medications. For some it’s simply due to aging. It often arrives after prostate and other cancer treatments. Other causes include intentional or unintentional hormone changes and there are many more.

This website and the Swell blog are out there to help us remove the shame and treat these differences for what they are: body variations and differences. It’s actually normal for our bodies to change during our lifetimes. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to adapt – and it takes time. While we learn to adapt, it’s important but difficult to engage in helpful and healing conversations.

How you can help

You can help by opening up frank conversations on these topics in your own world, defying taboos and shame. You’re also invited to share your story anonymously using this blog platform. And I would be grateful, if and when you have read the book, if you can restock Amazon with honest and helpful book reviews of the newly-titled Beyond Erections.