Swell Blog

The first live open global online conversation about my Beyond Erections book will be on Saturday, July 19 at 1 pm Eastern time. You are invited! The event will be hosted by the wonderful somatic sexuality expert Erica Leroye in conversation with me. She's the curator of the amazing website and community It Doesn't Have To Be Hard. Formerly known as Soft Cock Week, this celebration of softer sexual creativity helped inspire the writing of Beyond Erections. Beyond erections conversation A penis is an exquisitely sensitive body part for its owner. It can be a source of endless pleasure, [...]

By Dr Rhys Leeming Here's the list of chemicals, gadgets and actions that helped get my erections harder after prostatectomy surgery. They helped me go from about 70% hard to over 90%. You might find they help you too. Restoration of a decent sex life with my wife took more than the actions below. While they all help ED in a functional way, the other major contributor was learning not to be disappointed at the status of my recovery at any given point. I had to unlearn all the previously hardwired responses coming from my penis and groin [...]

In honour of Masturbation Month, I invited readers in May 2025 to share anonymously the ways they pleasure themselves with soft cocks. Here's the most comprehensive soft penis masturbation response I got. The only background information available is what the author provided in the anonymous form. Where I have added a note for clarity I have put my comment in square brackets []. Here's how our featured contributor summarizes his situation: My ED arose from a radical prostatectomy in 2009. Now at 73 it looks like there is a contribution from advancing age although I can't really measure [...]

By Rhys Leeming Faaarking hell. I’m up here in Far North Queensland getting some late summer sunshine before the Tasmanian winter sets in. I wake up with an expectant grin for the pre-breakfast activity. We've changed almost exclusively to morning sex these days - my erections are a bit stronger at that time of day. With the holiday feeling I was confident that I didn't need Vitamin V - just a cock ring would be enough. But then I realize I didn’t pack my cock ring! . My shitful memory and the forgetfulness of old[er] age are an [...]

All too often, says men's sex coach Cam Fraser, people treat the male body like a machine. As if "male sexual function is something that needs mechanical fixing." In our conversation last month he welcomed Beyond Erections as a "beautiful holistic pleasure-oriented approach to soft cock sex, exploring intimacy and sex without erections ... in a way that is sorely missing from most conversations about male sexuality." About the book, he says "there is nothing else like it" in world literature on male sexuality. It was a privilege to reconnect with Cam Fraser, who is less than half my [...]

My book was summarily ditched by Amazon ten days ago. It was only thanks to three trusty bricks-and-mortar booksellers, each with online portals, that it remained available from April 2nd until now. Here's the story of what it has taken to get global supplies flowing freely again. The story points to some of the many lessons to be learned about discussing socially awkward and undiscussable topics. The book is a respectful and practical work of adult sex exploration and education. It brings a sex-positive approach to the erectile differences that affect half of all men over 50 and their [...]

Beyond Erections - Soft Cock Sex book review by TJ Beyond Erections (previously entitled Soft Cock Sex) is is one of the most impactful books I have read. As a woman, wife to a man, survivor of childhood sexual abuse (CSA) and a Psychotherapist I approached it with multiple levels of curiosity. Firstly, it was easy to read. He is factual, honest and even joyful about his subject matter. I felt drawn into the author’s experience and exploration through his experience of prostate cancer in a non-psychologically pathologizing manner. Male voices about often-undiscussable issues So many books on [...]

What many people miss the most about hard cock sex is its primal nature. There is something about both giving and receiving raw lustful penetration that seems to take many of us into our animal cores in a very satisfying way. On the other hand, most of us crave sensual intimacy. If sex and even loving touch break down in our relationships we are bereft. The loss of touch has a measurable negative impact on physical and mental health. What I have found is that softer sex actually promotes sensual intimacy more than hard driving penetrative sex does - [...]

Joyful erotic exploration of erectile differences I publish this poem to celebrate John's attitude of joyful experimentation and playfulness, as well as unashamed erotic energy as he and his partner explore his new and differently-able body. This positive energy can be devastatingly absent from life with erectile differences. His  sense of fun invites us to enliven conversations about our situations as well as leading to new discoveries. Big thanks to the author for allowing me to publish his love poem. Before you read, be aware it is quite explicit. I lie here on the couch expectantly By John [...]

A Soft Cock Sex / Beyond Erections reader named Francois (quoted with permission) wrote this to me yesterday: I have long been aware that my body has drastically altered over the last year or two. To the point that I can say that I’m experiencing a 'crossing of a Body threshold’ akin to that of teenagers ... requiring a complete revision of the first hand experience, and the knowledge that there is no going back to the ease of physical ability I had before. What he put into a nutshell is the way primal body changes, particularly to our [...]